My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”
I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.
lets have phone sex over walkie talkies
"I’ll make you moan, over"
"bend what? over"
you’re kinda cool
i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice
There’s like a million different ways to say “I love you”
“put your seat belt on”
“watch your step”
“get some rest”
..you just gotta listen idk (via meri-juana)
god bless comic artists for drawing captain america’s ass so fine
you guys think im jokin
ass so fine
god bless avengers casting directors for casting captain america’s ass so fine
i pledge allegiance to that ass
I pledge allegiance to that ass.